Fears on Motherhood

“It’s a GIRL!!”

If I’m being honest I was even more terrified knowing we are expecting a girl.

I mean, come on: girls are emotional, stubborn, sometimes really particular, dramatic, and sassy.

And what if she is a girly girl?? Pink is nice but too much pink…. is just too much.

Breastfeeding a baby with a high pitch scream that could shatter my eardrums; trying to dress an infant in more than sports wear; now worrying about making her look cute and not haphazardly throwing clothes on our child—yeah, a boy just sounded somewhat waaay simpler.

At least we wouldn’t have to worry about taking sprays to the face….

Then my mind shifted to her future in this chaotic, dangerous world. Predators on social media, cliques with wagging tongues, stalkers, depression, her first boyfriend 😳

And I felt kinda desperate to shield her from all the evil, keep her young as long as possible, and maybe never let her go.

Then I remembered my childhood.

All the fears placed on me and my siblings, and how we rose to grapple each conflict. Sure we stumbled around, but we each grew up into fine adults. Not all of our biggest lessons and trials were even faced at home. Many we had to learn on our own.

Our parents had to let go.

I will have to let go.

Parenthood isn’t about having all the answers, building a perfect home, or even welding model citizens.

It’s about ministering to each child and preparing them to live. Teaching them to critically think and thrive despite hardships.

It’s about letting go of my uncertainties and preparing them for theirs.

What things should BJ know? Who should be around our child? When should she learn about sex?

Those things vary to each parent and household. But if I’m not preparing and pouring into my partner and BJ, then I’ve already missed the point of motherhood.

I still hope she’s not a girly girl. But even if BJ is, I’ll teach her the fundamentals of being a woman in a chaotic world.

And I’ll try to remind myself she’s ours for a season, and not everything will be perfect.

But it will be memorable and sweet with a dash of pink💕


12 thoughts on “Fears on Motherhood”

  1. Let me babysit her for five minutes and I’ll ensure she’s properly trained in abhorring all things pink and glitter. Her first Disney princess shall be Leia Organa, and I will dedicate my life to train her in all forms of lightsaber combat.
    Also…congrats! See, with a boy you’d have an entirely different set of cards to worry about. The phrase “boys will be boys” exists for a reason, after all. Girls at least are usually safer and take fewer risks. Haha

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m going to disagree with you on the risk thing. My Mom took my sister to the ER so many times that they gave her one of those punch cards. Punch it in every time you visit and for the 10th visit you get a free desert at the hospital cafe. haha

      Liked by 1 person

    2. A little glitter is good, but not an entire pink room and daily pink outfits 😵‍💫 if we’re back in the DMV or FL, we’ll have to swing by. As for risk taking: did you know I enjoyed jumping down flights of stairs, climbing trees, jumping off swings, and eating various vegetation from backyards? 😂


      1. “Eating various vegetation from backyards” is my favorite thing I’ve read today. 😂 I like how you don’t even specify if it was your *own* backyard or a stranger’s. And yes, swing by!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. First off, congratulations. Boy, girl, non-binary, you’ll be a great Mom!! I remember my Mom telling me she was terrified of having girls because she couldn’t do hair. I know this child will be surrounded by love a support. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

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