My Biggest Fear

I hate being afraid.

But even worse than being afraid: sharing the cause of a fear and giving people the opportunity to use that source against me.

Don’t tell me people ask your biggest fear to solely protect you. Ha! Our weaknesses and vulnerabilities often provide ample teasing points–in the wrong hands, of course.

Let’s be real: fear is only minimized by the added fear of being forced to face our fears.

Fear is something that so perfectly shows our imperfections and dilemmas that we would do almost anything to avoid it all together.

And often our biggest fears dwell within our minds, causing waves of pessimism and doubt to cloud our judgement.

My biggest fear wears the smallest sounds.

“What if…”

I’m more afraid of something that has not even happened yet. The unforeseen future. Something I can’t even control.

And it has been a stretching time since graduation: looking for a job, juggling health conditions, and then actually getting a wonderful job. But I soon lost that job due to sleep apnea and sleep insomnia.

And I was right back in that cycle of “what if I don’t get a job soon?” “What if I fall farther back on my bills?”

Fear shows us how strong our faith really is.

And I’ll be the first to admit: my faith was weak. Very weak.

And to be honest: things only fell in place after I confessed my fears to my Heavenly Father. I told Him how badly I wanted a job that mattered, that I was worried about finances, and that I wanted to start taking full ownership and stop being a burden.

I wasn’t sure which jobs I should apply for, and started seeking his plan. I didn’t just want a job that I liked or that paid well–although both things mattered. I wanted a job that was fulfilling, that accomplished something much bigger than just me and my coworkers. I wanted a job that truly impacted people.

And as I began praying for his guidance and peace in my job search, I nearly kicked myself.

Duh.

This is the Creator of the universe, the One who sent his Beloved Son as a sacrifice for mankind’s sins, the One who said to ask him for wisdom. The One Who said that He will never leave us not forsake us–how did I even think my circumstances changed His plan?

He already had a plan, but he was waiting for me to submit to his plan and his timing.

Because my focus was on my fears and not on the One in whom I could trust, I was walking in fear.

“For God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7 KJV

You want to know what I found comfort in? The fact that my biggest fear is dwarfed by my all-powerful, all-knowing, and all-seeing Father.

Now I’m blessed to be working at a job that I love, with people that I love, co-laboring in a task far bigger than any of us.

Fear is easy. It’s remedy is simple–although often hard.

Our biggest fears have the simplest solution: faith.

Reflect: What is your biggest fear? Have you been focusing on your inabilities rather than the One who can enable you?

Prayer: Dear Father, I thank You for always loving me. Help me to continue placing my faith in You rather than in my own abilities and in others. Forgive me for doubting Your plan and timing. I pray for each of my readers, that You would encourage, motivate, and challenge them to trust You more. Help all of us to confess our fears to You, and continue living through Your power, love, and sound mind. I love You, Father. Thank You for loving me first. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

~Mads 😊💙

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